Five things to STOP…!
1 Talking to yourself in negative ways
Everything’s hopeless; wish I was slimmer, brighter, richer; it was definitely something I must have done that made them react like that.
2 Slipping into victim mode
Beating yourself up when things don’t go exactly to plan; nothing ever goes right for me; that’s just my luck.
3 Living in the past
Rehashing unhelpful conversations or events over and over again.
4 Berating yourself
Whatever you do, it’s so important to finish absolutely everything on your (never ending) to do list before you can even think of relaxing now.
5 Overloading your mind
Keeping as busy as possible, doing lots of things at once and always having one eye or ear out to something else even when someone’s talking to you.
Five things to START …!
1 Mastering your thoughts
i watching your language – replacing ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ ‘got tos’, with ‘want tos’, ‘good tos’, ‘love tos’; replacing ‘never’ and ‘always’ with ‘not for now’ or ‘not yet’.
ii checking in on your physiology – shoulders back, head up, deeper breathing, smiling more, regular movement, hourly mini breaks.
iii choosing what you focus on – you get what you focus on so focus on what you want, not what you don’t, get good at catching yourself out and stop!
2 Taking things less personally
Registering it’s not all about you. So, as the saying goes “what people think of you is none of your business”.
3 Believing that people are doing the best that they can and have good intentions
It might not be your best or your way, but not attaching negative meanings to what others do or say, and rather seeing people in the best light, works wonders – especially in personal relationships -;)
4 Carving out guilt free time for yourself
Getting really good at ‘me time’ is not only not selfish and good for you, it’s the best thing you can do for the people you care about (think about it …)
5 Giving your undivided attention
If it’s talking with your partner, a friend, child or work colleague give them your undivided attention and actively listen.
And one bonus nudge! Practice running through all the things you are grateful for at the end of each day – often good to have the conversation with yourself before you go to sleep at night. No matter how large or small, psychologists say it’s impossible to feel grateful and unhappy at the same time!