Seeing our sameness not the differences
Years ago, I lived in Hong Kong so it holds a special place in my heart. Watching the scenes on the UK news of ordinary people demonstrating there, I was so moved by the image of a single woman walking towards the bank of police firing rubber bullets and tear gas, and saying “You’re one of us, we are all Hong Kongers.”
What struck a chord, apart from the woman’s obvious courage, is that, for me, her words hold a truth and answer to not only the world’s troubles, but our own disagreements that can arise in individual relationships.
The more I’ve come to see how alike we all are at the level of how we work, the easier it is to see the sameness in people not the differences. As a result, I find myself getting less caught up in my personal thinking, or making snap judgements about how people or things should or shouldn’t be, as quickly as I once might have!
Put simply, seeing we all tick the same at our core, means we’re probably less likely to want to fight each other. Or at the very least, gives us a moment to pause before we react.
State of mind – more projector than camera
So, these days, I spend much more of my work time having conversations with people about the very nature of how our experience gets created, and the power of Thought (with a capital T), than I do suggesting different techniques or strategies for managing their thinking.
I often use the analogy of the mind working more like a projector than a camera. I could be in the same situation as another person, and yet we’ll both be experiencing it very differently depending on our own personal thoughts. Hence our mind projects what we’re thinking onto our circumstances (often with a whole bunch of special effects …) rather than capturing one, or the same, picture of reality.
When people start to see this, and how we’re only every living in the feeling of our thoughts, not our circumstances, and how that impacts our moment to moment state of mind, they often see whatever is occurring for them with fresh eyes. And just seeing that is enough to change everything.
Because instead of believing that x person is causing you to feel like you do, or x thing is the reason why something isn’t working in your life, and that’s why you’re in a lower state of mind, you start to see that it’s just thought in the moment. That nothing out there needs to change at all for you to start to feel better. Rather, your state of mind will naturally improve as your thoughts settle down, new thinking occurs and you see things with fresh eyes.
Watching wisdom in action
There’s a common sense, or wisdom, in all of us, which is also constantly playing out underneath all our noisy, personal thinking. I immediately felt it watching the woman calmly approaching the police barricades. I thought there’s no way she can be in her thoughts in this moment or she’d have been likely paralysed by fear.
No, rather I saw it was her innate wisdom coming through propelling her forward. That wisdom that comes from a deeper part in us that feels like a ‘knowing’ that goes beyond the intellect; that feeling when thought gets suspended and you just know what to do.
Looking in the direction of our sameness, and that we all have access to that innate wisdom or natural intelligence, has the potential to change so much. For not only is it comforting to know we can rely on that in difficult or uncertain times, but it gets easier to see when someone is caught up in their moment to moment thoughts, and thus take their behaviour less personally. Knowing that as their thinking changes, their behaviour will naturally change too, can save an awful lot of stress and time from getting caught up in the whys and wherefores.
So, your nudge for today is see what rings true for you as you’ve been reading, and how might this understanding of how we create our experience help you start to see a situation or person with fresh eyes.
Have a lovely weekend, and all the best for now.
Tamsin
PS My thoughts are with the people of Hong Kong at the minute, as well as friends still living there. If you, or anyone you know, is currently going through difficult or stressful times, or feel stuck in a pattern of thinking about a situation or person, please do pass this nudge along to them, and/or get in touch and let’s share a different conversation