Last month’s nudge suggested 3 main reasons why we can tend to procrastinate.
1 Lack of clarity around what it is we want.
2 Fear of failure or rejection.
3 Being a perfectionist.
This month, I said I’d follow up with some ideas on ways to help overcome procrastinating.
Here’s my starter for ten in no particular order.
1 Get honest with yourself – which of the three reasons I’ve mentioned resonate with you the most? Just taking some quiet time out to consider what your pattern tends to be can give you a better understanding of what drives you. This is not about beating yourself up, but rather getting clearer so you can start to do something about it.
2 Get clear on what’s really important to YOU – what are your important priorities? What is the direction you want your life to go in? What really matters to you at the end of the day? It is so tempting to blame others or external situations when you’re not happy with things, but if you don’t know what it is you want in the first place, you’ll constantly find yourself feeling conflicted and pulled from pillar to post.
3 Question unhelpful beliefs – be it about others and importantly yourself. So often we can be ruled by old, unquestioned beliefs that are way past their sell by date and keeping us perpetually stuck. For instance, telling yourself things like:
“That might work for others, but not for me.”
“I’ve done x so many times in the past and it’s failed so what’s the point in trying again?”
“I’m too old, unattractive, unintelligent, set in my ways, [fill in the gap] to do x, y or z.”
“I never have the time or the money to ….”
Instead, take a decision to catch yourself when this happens and decide to tell yourself the exact opposite. Have a simple word or phrase you can immediately say before the momentum starts to build! “Stop It” usually works pretty well!
4 Start putting yourself on your ‘to do’ list – yes, you read that right! Recognise when your boundaries are being stretched and you’re putting others first at the expense of your own wellbeing. Make better self-care a non-negotiable on your ‘to do’ list. Getting good at saying ‘no’ is a key part. Far from being selfish, rather see a ‘no’ as a ‘yes’ to yourself, which only serves to protect against potential resentment, anger, frustrations that can build up from over people pleasing, resulting in a win win all round.
5 Productivity is about habits not actions – use your energy to change habits that are no longer serving you and you’ll find taking action will inevitably follow more easily. Mastering better habits that support you and your priorities make all the difference. Focus on changing one habit at a time over a period of 30 days until it becomes second nature, something you do without thought or willpower like brushing your teeth.
6 Design for default – changing habits is so much easier when you put things in place to automatically help you. For example, if you want to change the habit of not drinking enough water, be sure to have a full glass beside your bed when you wake up, easily to hand while you’re working, and when you go to sleep. If you want to cut down on watching TV, re-arrange your furniture away from your set. If you want to free up 15 minutes for yourself in your morning, sort out what you’re going to wear in advance, and have fewer options (think how Steve Jobs would wear same black turtleneck every day).
7 Set yourself forfeits – this is a strategy I use in my nudging when someone finds themself continually unable to follow through. We discuss what’s the worst thing they can think of having to do instead of the thing they’re wanting to, but not managing to. Once they’ve told me, I come up with a forfeit based on this that they have to do instead. This invariably solves the situation pretty quickly!
8 Learn from your procrastinator – get to know that personality in you that tends to procrastinate. This is something we delve into much more deeply in nudgeme conversations, but the point is we are not just one person. We’re all made up of different personalities or roles that we play, and when you realise that you are lots of different people you can start calling up the best person for the job rather than them popping up and controlling you when you least expect or want it.
For instance, different personalities are often triggered to turn up when we need to protect ourselves, or need to learn from them. Or there’s a positive reason why a negative personality is taking over. For example, someone might complain a lot, but is in fact covering up something they badly want or need with their complaints – they’re critical because they’re afraid. The idea is to get to know all your personalities and their positive or negative qualities, as there’s usually a good reason for that particular personality showing up.
9 Give up all resistance & illusion of control – accept things as they are, but not worse than they are. Tony Robbins has an expression that captures this so well “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” In other words, things happen, but it’s almost always the story we tell ourselves about it, and illusion we can control things, rather than the actual event that causes our upset.
10 Follow your Rainbow – finally, I’m sharing a photo a neighbour of mine took just down from my Marina. It reminds me of two important things that can stop procrastination instantly for me. Firstly, a full half Rainbow came out the day after my father had died suddenly so whenever I see one it reminds me to live life to the full. And secondly, he had an expression to always ‘Trawl for Gold’, look for the good, find something to be grateful for at the end of each day – procrastination doesn’t get a look in when you do.
I hope you’ve found this nudge helpful – especially at this busier time of competing priorities!