Just a short and sweet email to wish you a peaceful and relaxing holidays, including a pic of the traditional Christmas Light Up on my Marine and boat where I live!

It was lovely to hear from so many of you following my last nudge About Believing your Thoughts, and I look forward to connecting more via my nudges in the New Year.

When I was pondering what nudge to share today, I was drawn to go back to a previous nudge I sent a few years back at Christmas where I shared a well known, funny, short YouTube video called ‘The Nothing Box’.

I know communications with our important people can sometimes be a bit stressful leading up to and over the holidays. So, in the spirit of wishing everyone as stress free time as possible, this is an amusing take on how men and women can communicate differently!

Watching it again today, I still laughed out loud, albeit it struck me that it’s perhaps less helpful these days to focus on what makes us different, and way more helpful to embrace what makes us similar.

And one thing I’ve come to see is that we all have access to a Nothing Box.

Or, as I share in my work, a space inside where we can always go to experience a quieter state of mind, and from there we invariably find ourselves surfacing refreshed and more easily seeing how best to communicate!

I hope the video raises a smile or two for you, as well as a gentle nudge to remind you of your Nothing Box, and how helpful it can be to know it’s there anytime you need it.

Wishing you a lovely Christmas, and here’s to a wonderful New Year for us all.

Warmest best wishes and love

Tamsin

It’s been a while since my last nudge and I hope you’re keeping well.

I took this picture on the River this week, and the string of boats reminded me of a string of thoughts, and how one thought can quickly lead to another…sometimes causing us to worry, stress or feel anxious about what we’re thinking.

In my last nudge on wellbeing, I shared that I’ve come to see all thoughts as neutral until we breathe life into them, or give them a meaning. So, it got me thinking about a question:

“How do you know what thoughts to believe?”

Or put another way, what causes us to buy into some thoughts and not others?

I think we get so used to living on autopilot that we don’t often stand back and question what we think. Or give ourselves a chance to see an issue, situation or person with a fresh perspective…a chance to change our mind, or reflect on long held beliefs that might be limiting us or holding us back in this moment.

This is where my nudging is so enjoyable, as it offers an opportunity for people to take a fresh look and experience a renewed freedom and peace of mind. This can feel so much nicer than continuing to live with what I refer to as that background hum of stress, or heavier feeling that can weigh us down when something is playing on our minds.

It’s at those times that it can be so compelling to keep churning things over and over in the hopes of finding a solution…something I certainly used to do a lot! But I’ve found that only serves to create more noise in my head and keep my thoughts spinning.

These days, I do the exact opposite and encourage people I work with to do the same. And that is to get quiet and leave their thinking alone. This can be easier said than done, but I’ve learnt that it pays to wait for my mind to settle down…and from that quieter state, things invariably look different, and fresh answers inevitably come to me. I don’t always manage it of course, but seeing that’s just what naturally happens when we have less on our mind makes for the world of difference.

So how might you answer the question: “How do you know what thoughts to believe?” I’d love to hear what percolates for you!

I hope you found this nudge helpful. Please do share it with anyone who you feel might be living with that hum of stress, or doing battle with their thoughts, and who might benefit from a different perspective.

All the very best for now

Tamsin

It was Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK last week, and today I was nudged into action to share some thoughts in a video, which I attach below.

I have to say that recording videos is probably one of the fastest ways for me to get caught up in overthinking!? So the easiest way for me to get past all that is just press record and see where the conversation takes me! It’s a big conversation so the video is longer than usual, but I hope you’ll bear with me.

A couple of highlights include some things I feel are currently missing in the current debate, including how helpful it can be to:

see that just because any of us might be experiencing stressful, difficult or hard times, it doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with us

listen for a person’s mental health versus listening to diagnose, and

keep an open mind to think again when it comes to your own, or anyone else’s, mental health … rather than judging yourself, or them, for whatever you, or they, might be experiencing in the moment.

I’d love to hear what you think about what I’m sharing so if you could spare a minute do let me know any thoughts or fresh insights that percolate.

I know this is a topic that can stir up all kinds of thoughts, but I’d love it if you could just take a look with as little on your mind as possible, and join in the conversation!

Here’s some links I reference in the video

Mental Health Awareness Week 2017 – A nudge about overthinking and mental wellbeing

Mental Health Awareness Week 2019 – What if it’s okay to not feel okay

A nudge about the way we think

Getting comfortable with the unknown

A nudge and message for our times

Free ‘Living in the Flow‘ email series, a good introduction to this understanding I share about the nature of thought to help you experience greater peace of mind.

I do hope you find this nudge helpful. Please do share it with anyone who you feel could benefit from being part of this conversation.

All the very best for now

Tamsin

We finally had some lovely sunshine here in the UK this week, just in time to be able to meet friends and loved ones again in an outdoor space. I spent time with my twin sister, and this is the blossom tree in the front of her garden!

We also both had our first vaccination jabs, and I take my hat off to all the people involved. Everyone was so friendly from the people directing us as we arrived to those taking our details and the nurses giving us the jab, it all went smoothly and quickly and I feel very grateful.

The results are in … wellbeing resides inside

Thanks so much to those of you who replied to my last nudge and straw poll on wellbeing. It was so interesting to read your responses.

In short, most people felt that their wellbeing resides inside them.

As one person said: “Has to be inside otherwise it’s too unstable.”

For me, that seems to be at the very core of what makes the difference for people’s mental health. Because if it seems like wellbeing depends on something external having to look a certain way, or a feeling of needing to control our circumstances or other people before we can feel okay, then inevitably that’s likely to give rise to feelings of insecurity, especially during changing times.

Trusting in our wellbeing

So if our wellbeing resides inside us, why can it feel harder to access in challenging times? I think the answer lies in the understandable human trait of looking outside ourselves in an effort to give ourselves certainty when life starts to feel uncomfortable. But what if that’s just a case of looking in the wrong direction? And instead of looking to external circumstances, or others, to give us our sense of wellbeing, we rather look inside ourselves and trust that it resides within.

There’s evidence all around us right now of people’s inner wellbeing and resilience at play, regardless of all that’s going on. And that’s why I spend my time these days nudging people towards their inner wellbeing, which I’ve come to see is innate and naturally in us all. It gives us a solid foundation to stand on…a ‘mental immunity’ if you like…and when we live more from that place, can make for a much less stressful experience of life.

Easier to access in nature

Spending time out in nature was also mentioned a lot in people’s responses to me for where they felt their wellbeing more. This makes perfect sense to me as so often that’s when we have less on our minds, and for me, it’s experiencing that spaciousness outside that opens up greater access to that quieter space of wellbeing and peace of mind inside.

That feels like a hopeful message on which to end, and to wish you a very happy Easter and relaxing break.

All the very best for now

Tamsin

PS I’m currently planning some one to one and group options to help people live more from their wellbeing, which I’ll be sharing soon. If you’re interested to know more now, then just drop me an email and I’ll let you have more details.

It’s been a while since my last nudge, and I hope life’s as good as possible in the current times. I can’t believe Easter is around the corner, and we’re still only now gradually coming out of lockdown in the UK!?

A question came to me this morning on the back of hearing the phrase ‘outsourcing our wellbeing’, and I wanted to send a nudge about it, partly to share what I see, and partly to get your take on it through a quick straw poll.

And the question is:

“Where do you think your wellbeing resides?”

With all the current talk about the inevitability of a mental health pandemic following on the back of the physical one, the answer to that question feels so important.

For me, I’ve come to see that our wellbeing is innate, resides inside me and cannot be damaged, or taken away, by anything external. And because of that I see we all have a natural resilience we can count on, which doesn’t depend on outside circumstances having to change or look a certain way.

That’s not to say I’m disregarding, or don’t appreciate, all the very real struggles and pain and loss that so many people have, and are still going through, on a daily basis. It just means coming from that perspective on life gives me the feeling of always standing on solid ground. And from that place, life feels lighter and easier and more hopeful than it otherwise might.

The implications of this are huge. Because if I imagine that my wellbeing lies somewhere outside of me my approach to life would be so different. And believe you me it was very different when I used to live in a world that x, y z had to happen before I felt okay. Or I could only feel happy when someone else changed or behaved a different way…all of which I think the phrase ‘outsourcing our wellbeing’ seems to imply.

So, I’ve created a quick straw poll below, and I’m really interested to hear your thoughts on this question, and any insights that come to mind for you when you think about your own wellbeing. Just click here with your chosen response. (It goes without saying, all responses will be treated in confidence.)

Question: “Where do you think your wellbeing resides?”

Answer: A inside me
B externally
C not sure
D other (please describe)

Please share any thoughts or insights that come to mind for you when you think about this question, or your own wellbeing. And if you have any questions, ask away and I’ll come back to you. I really appreciate your help, and thanks so much.

I’ll be sure to feedback what I find in a future nudge.

I look forward to hearing from you, and have a great weekend.

All the best

Tamsin