7 Ways to Keep Yourself Motivated

7 Ways to Keep Yourself Motivated

by | Friday, November 7, 2014 | Different Conversations Life

1 Motivation style

A good way to improve your motivation is to identify your motivation style. Our motivation tends to be driven in two ways: moving towards something or away from something, and it can really help to know which one tends to be you.  So, towards people tend to be motivated by all the things achieving their goal will give them in the future.

For instance, in terms of weight loss, this could be ‘I’ll feel fitter and healthier, be able to fit into those jeans I love, feel better about myself, get a boyfriend, feel more confident etc.  And away people tend to be motivated more by things they want to move away from such as I don’t want to feel out of breath and unhealthy, I’m worried if I don’t lose weight I’ll suffer health issues, I’m tired of not looking after myself better or such things like that.  And there’s no right or wrong motivation, it just depends on you, and the way you think about or picture things.  So getting clear on that can really help.

2 Create a really clear image of achieving your goal

Once you’ve worked out if you’re a towards or away from person and thought about the various things that you want to move towards or away from, it can help to create a really clear picture in your mind of what you will see, hear, feel when you imagine achieving your goal.  The more specific you can be, the better – build your picture using all your senses!

3 Up-date any beliefs about your goal that could trip you up

Do a check on whether you’ve got any out-dated beliefs about losing weight that could be holding you back.  For example, lots of people say they want to lose weight, but can have sub-conscious thoughts that stop them eg, comfort eating – what will replace that instead of food?  Or loss of social life because food plays a big part and they’re secretly scared of losing that or people who grew up being told they must eat everything on their plate etc.

4 Think about previous times when you maintained your motivation

Also do a check on all the times you’ve tried to lose weight before – what was happening when this was going really well that you could do more of now?  And what was happening when you tended to lose motivation and found it harder – how can you minimise those times to improve your motivation now.

5 State your goal in the positive

Really state whatever your goal is in the positive and be very specific.  So, instead of making a general statement like ‘I want to lose weight’, turn that on its head and state it in the positive eg, ‘I want to reach my ideal weight of x in 3 months so that I feel fitter and healthier’ or whatever your chosen motivation was!

6 Take small daily steps

Do something manageable each day relating to your goal.  So in terms of wanting to feel fitter and healthier, introduce a new habit eg, drink an extra glass of water a day, walk 10 minutes, go to bed an hour earlier.

7 Make your goal a priority

As the old saying goes ‘you get what you focus on’ so don’t get side-tracked or put off by other people!  Instead, prioritise your goal and keep in mind the image you created of what it will feel like when you look back having achieved it in, say, 3 months from now!

A Conversation About Optimism

A Conversation About Optimism

by | Wednesday, October 1, 2014 | Different Conversations Life

Are you a cup half full or empty kind of person?

I’m seeing a lot of people juggling life, and dealing with various challenges right now:  everything from financial concerns and worries; fears and uncertainty about their job security and longer-term prospects; people feeling under pressure to work way longer hours as more is being expected of them – then finding themselves completely run down as a result – and those who are working equally as hard for themselves, and finding it much more difficult to do business. All in all, not the easiest of times to remain optimistic…!

So, it got me thinking: how is it that some people find it easier to remain optimistic, despite the most difficult of circumstances, whilst others, in a similar position, really battle to keep things in perspective? Would you describe yourself as a ‘cup half full’ or ‘half empty’ kind of person?

It reminded me of the book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life written by Professor Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology, and a leader in the field of improving peoples’ life satisfaction and wellbeing. According to the book, the answer could lie in your explanatory style – that’s not just in terms of the language you use (important though that is) but your particular way in which you explain good or bad events

Your explanatory style

The book talks of three crucial dimensions to explanatory style: permanence, pervasiveness and personalisation, which, depending on our particular style, will reveal how optimistic we are. The idea is that once we are more aware of our style, we can improve it to boost our levels of optimism.

1 Permanence v temporary

The first dimension is permanence v temporary: people who view bad things that happen to them as permanent can feel that the bad event will always affect their lives: people who are more optimistic tend to believe that the causes of bad events are temporary. So, for instance, someone who has more of a permanent pessimistic explanatory style might say things like “Diets never work”, “I’m useless at tennis”, “You never talk to me” whereas someone with a more optimistic style would say “Diets don’t work if you don’t exercise too”, “I’m useless at tennis when I don’t practice” or “You haven’t talked to me lately”.

You’ll also see the immediate difference in that people who tend to explain bad things in terms of definitive statements, using words like always and never, have a permanent, pessimistic style. Optimistic people are more likely to qualify what they say with words like lately or sometimes and view bad events as temporary. This helps to explain why some people can be blindsided by bad events, whilst others can quickly bounce back.

2 Pervasiveness: specific v universal

The second dimension relates to pervasiveness: that is the extent to which people are able to experience a bad event, and yet not let that affect other areas of their lives. We all know people who are having trouble in one area of their life say, their work or relationship, but are still able to go about their daily lives. Others can find it harder not to let that one thing affect everything else that’s going on. A pessimistic person is more likely to make universal explanations when they are experiencing a bad event, whereas someone who’s more optimistic will talk in specifics. For example, someone with more of a pessimistic style going through a bad time in their relationship, might say “I’m repulsive” whereas the more optimistic person would say “I’m repulsive to him/her”.

I particularly liked a story in the book of two people who have been made redundant from the same firm called Nora and Kevin. Nora is offered temporary work back where she was fired and thinks to herself “they realised they can’t cope without me”. Kevin got the same offer and thought “they must really be shorthanded.”

3 Personalisation: internal v external

The third dimension relates to the extent we tend to personalise things – which is so key in terms of the way we talk to ourselves! When bad things happen, we can blame ourselves – internalise – or we can blame other people or circumstances – externalise. The book also explains that people who blame themselves when they fail at something, for example, tend to have low self-esteem as a consequence. People who blame external events do not lose their self-esteem. So, people who tend to personalise things more (internal) might say “I’m stupid” or “I have no talent at x”, whereas the more optimistic person would say “You’re stupid” or “I have no luck at x” (external).

It’s interesting to note that the optimistic style of explaining good events is the opposite of that used for bad events. People who believe good events have permanent causes are more optimistic than people who believe they have temporary causes. Likewise, the optimist believes that bad events have specific causes, while the pessimist believes that good events are caused by specific factors. And people who believe they cause good things to happen tend to like themselves better than people who believe good things come from other people or circumstances. So, if something good happens, the more optimistic person might say “I can take advantage of luck” (internal) whereas a more pessimistic person might say “That was a stroke of luck” (external).

You can find out much more about Positive Psychology and the study of wellbeing at Professor Seligman’s website Authentic Happiness, including some great questionnaires you can use to test out your happiness levels.

I hope this has given you optimistic food for thought. I’m guessing we’ll all recognise some of ourselves in the examples given here to greater and lesser degrees, but it’s good to know we can catch ourselves out and choose a more optimistic conversation style! What are some of the ways you might now begin to have a different conversation with yourself to help improve your optimism levels?

6 Ways for People in Jobs Working from Home to Have a Different Conversation About Marketing

by | Monday, September 15, 2014 | Different Conversations Work

One of the biggest concerns for people in jobs working from home can be their fear of marketing themselves and their business. In my experience, this can be for a whole host of reasons, but a key reason is because of all the fearful self talk that can go on, including:

  • a fear of making a fool of oneself
  • worrying too much about getting a negative response
  • confusing marketing with selling, which none of us is very keen on at the best of times

The following are six ways to help you start a different conversation with yourself to lessen the fear of marketing.

1 Reconfirm the value you bring to your clients/customers

Take some time out to reconfirm the value and benefits you bring to your clients or customers – and be as specific as possible in your description. This will not only help to reinforce your thinking around the quality and value of what you offer, but also boost your self worth and confidence in what you deliver.

2 Undertake up-to-date research

Carry out some up-to-date research with clients/customers to get their thoughts about you, and any new services or products they might need. This would also give you a chance to ask for testimonials if you have not already got these. And if you view this as an essential part of your customer care strategy, rather than marketing or selling, you should feel a lot easier about it.

3 Stop procrastinating

The next time you find yourself procrastinating about how your marketing or promotional efforts will be received, stop and ask yourself what is the worst that can happen if? No one can please everyone all of the time, so if you accept that some people will be less interested in what you have to offer than others as a part of life – rather than a personal attack on you – marketing will become a lot less daunting.

4 Consider your off and on line marketing strategies

Consider both your off and on line marketing strategies. These days, although on line marketing – and espeically social media marketing – has become huge with people now using the internet far more (and thus providing a great way for potential customers to find you, rather than you having to search them out), it’s important to still maintain some of the more traditional methods, including advertising, PR and direct mail where appropriate, and ensure these are all pulled together in an integrated marketing strategy, geared to your specific business and communications objectives.

5 Play to your strengths

Play to your strengths, and outsource the marketing aspects you find less easy or enjoyable. For instance, if you love networking and events, and dislike spending too much time on the computer, just accept that and make arrangements for someone else to work on your internet marketing.

6 Set aside a regular time for marketing

Set aside a regular time in your day-to-day working week to undertake marketing activities and stick to it. Treat it like you would an important meeting that you cannot get out of. If there’s some aspect you’ve been particularly avoiding, make a resolve to do that first as it’s more often the thought of something that’s much worse than the actual doing.

Even the most successful marketers have their off days, but remembering these tips can go a long way towards overcoming any fears.

Haven’t Got A Clue What You’d Really Like To Do?

Haven’t Got A Clue What You’d Really Like To Do?

by | Wednesday, September 3, 2014 | Different Conversations Work

If you haven’t got a clue what you’d really like to be doing, the following are 5 tips to help you start a different conversation with yourself!

1 Keep a log of what you enjoy doing

Keep a log for one week of all the things you love to do or are naturally drawn to. Things you get excited about and really enjoy. Include everything you can think of, including things that you’re interested in, books or films you like, sport you enjoy, people you love seeing and what it is that you particularly like about them, places you enjoy going, day to day things you like doing as opposed to those things that you put off or push to the bottom of your ‘to do’ list.

2 Make a list of what you’re good at

Make a list of all the things that you, or other people, think you are really good at. Include the things that you find easy to do without really having to give them much thought. Think about all your abilities and personality traits that enable you to do specific things or sail through particular occasions with ease.

3 Your ideal day

Think about what an ideal day would look like for you. Who would be with you? Where would you be? What would you be doing? And suspend all thoughts of time or money being an issue. Really picture your perfect day, including anything and everything from working in your ideal job or running your own business, meeting people you admire – famous or otherwise, dead or alive – being elsewhere or abroad and, if so, where, in a town, a village, near the sea and so on. Really let your imagination go and think in terms of anything being possible.

4 Happy times

Look back over your life so far and think about all the times when you felt really happy, or moments when everything just seemed to slot into place. What was happening? What were the specific things that made those times so special?

5 Treats

When you decide to give yourself a treat, or someone says they’d like to treat you to something, what immediately springs to mind? What would you be doing and what makes that a treat for you?

nudging and film The King’s Speech

by | Sunday, August 10, 2014 | Different Conversations Life

What might this award winning film have to do with ‘nudging’ you might well ask? Not only is the Kings Speech a very good film, it highlighted beautifully what can be achieved when an individual experiences the undivided support of another person helping them to overcome a problem, or achieve something they never thought possible.

I’d urge everyone to see the film not only for a host of reasons from the well written script to the sublime acting from the main characters – but to experience a brilliant example of, what I call, ‘nudging’ – having a different conversation with yourself – at its very best. In the case of the film, for those of you who haven’t seen it, the coach in question was a speech therapist who worked with Britain’s King George VI to help him overcome his stammering, and enable him to cope with public speaking. He had a love of speech and drama and, although no formal training, a total belief in the King’s own ability to overcome his stammer – if he was willing to take the necessary action. And this illustrates so well a fundamental principle of my form of life coaching, the belief that people have all the necessary resources inside them to make the changes they want.

Sharing practical strategies

The speech therapist used his own strategies to help the King, based on his instinct and experience of working with people. This was all the more necessary since the King had resolutely refused to view his stammer as anything more than a mechanical problem. The strategies took the form of often humourous exercises, and asking particular questions to provoke thought, which quickly revealed where the basis for the King’s stammer lay. He then supported the King, gently nudging him on to keep motivated on his journey.

I won’t spoil the story for you if you haven’t seen the film, but this is where it highlights other valuable principles of why having an independent person to facilitate a different conversation with you can really change things. It gives people the chance to feel really listened to by someone who knows exactly the right questions to ask at the right time, and to experience new, practical strategies you can use immediately to see much faster change and success than continuing to struggle on on your own.

And it’s a wonderful way to help you Trawl for Gold more regularly in your own life!

 

My Small Business Web Marketing Strategy Checklist

by | Friday, August 1, 2014 | Different Conversations Work

Believe you me, I’ve been as confused as the next person with the never ending changes in social media marketing, hence wanting to give people a short cut to the knowledge I’ve learnt, and continue to learn, on a daily basis as part of my work. Here’s my quick 10 step small business web marketing strategy checklist for ensuring your website or blog is working effectively for you.

If you want your website or blog to be working successfully for you, the following 10 points cover the essentials – gone are the days when you set up a static website and then up-date it once in a blue moon. With the nature of social media and sharing of ‘real time’ information, sites must be regularly up-dated with fresh, interesting content, and promoted to build relationships, and encourage people to engage with you.

1 Be crystal clear about your overall marketing strategy

  • What are your main marketing objectives?
  • Which audiences do you want to target?
  • Where will you find them?
  • What challenges and problems are they experiencing?
  • What solutions can you provide through your products and services?
  • How will you measure success?

2 Keyword research

Come up with the key search terms and phrases that you want your website or blog to rank for, based on keywords and phrases that you think your target markets are searching on and/or would be likely to enter in to a search engine in order to find your particular service, product or information. These days, people are searching in a much more conversational style rather than one or two keywords. Known as semantic search, Google is now looking to return much more customised results based on a more intuitive approach. Thus the more you provide valuable content based on real life searches, and longer phrases the better.

Check each keyword/phrase against the Google competition – simply enter the term into Google and check the numbers of competing pages. To be competitive, aim for keywords/phrases that have less than 50,000 competing pages. (Tip: make sure to put inverted commas around your keyword/phrases to ensure you are searching for an exact match – this will show up lower levels of competition than broad match phrases.)

Then check out how many searches are being made for these keywords/phrases using Google’s Keyword Planner. Aim for at least 80 searches per day or 2,400 per month.

3 Develop backlinks to your website/blog

Research relevant and appropriate sites to develop backlinks to your website/blog. Now that Google places a much bigger emphasis on not building 100s of links in a ‘spammy’ way, be sure to focus on the sites that have a higher page ranking and authority with Google, and build links organically in different ways. The number one way to do this these days is through writing and sharing valuable content across social media platforms that people want to naturally link back to remembering to vary your anchor text (see point 4 below). There are mixed views on the value of creating backlinks through blog commenting and article marketing, for example, since Google got wise to this and penalised many sites in recent changes.

4 Up-date your website or blog

Use your chosen keywords/phrases in your website/blog title, description and header tags – and in your website/blog’s domain name if possible.

Naturally weave the keywords/phrases into the appropriate pages of your website/blog. Insert hyperlinks in your website/blog content using your keywords as the anchor text to draw people into your site as well as further optimising your site’s ranking with search engines. The important word here is naturally – it’s not about stuffing your pages with your chosen keywords or repeating them in unrealistic anchor text, but rather providing valuable content that includes the likely phrases that people are searching on.

5 Use your site to build a responsive email list & email marketing strategy

Develop an attractive, free offer to encourage visitors to provide you with their name and email address eg, free newsletter, 10 top tips relating to your area of expertise, free e.book, competition, audio or video home study course etc. Develop an email marketing strategy for how you’re going to regularly interact with your list using a free or paid for email marketing/email list manager such as MailChimp (free for up to x number of conacts) or paid for (eg Aweber).

6 Promote your website/blog

Via relevant social media platforms. As mentioned, be sure to write and share useful content relevant to your business or area of interest, which will encourage sharing. Social media marketing is playing an increasingly important part of how Google ranks sites so it’s now essential to build it into your internet marketing strategy. Sites include:

  • social bookmarking sites – StumbleUpon, specialised bookmarking sites relating to your sector
  • social networking sites – Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+ & specialised social networking sites relating to your sector
  • social news sites – Reddit
  • video – YouTube
  • free blogging platforms such as Tumblr
  • photo sharing sites such as Instagram and Flikr
  • location based mobile platforms – eg, Foursquare

7 Monitor your website/blog’s traffic

Install Google Analytics on your website/blog http://www.google.com/analytics/ – a free monitoring tool – to analyse visitors’ activity on your site, including all sorts of information such as number of daily visitors, which are the most popular pages, how your visitors are finding you, which sites are tending to refer visitors via links to your site etc.

8 Develop your social media campaign

  • Research which social media sites are being used by your existing and potential customers/clients & the sorts of conversations that are taking place, including the types of information they would like to see you sharing.
  • Produce a social media plan based on your research and business/marketing objectives, including metrics for how you will measure success.
  • Write profiles for each of your chosen social media platforms incorporating your researched keywords/keyword phrases. Start off with one or two channels to begin with, and plan out the information you’re going to share, and how you are going to keep channels regularly up-dated.
  • Include your 1. chosen social media icons/buttons on your site for visitors to easily connect with you on those platforms, and 2. share this icons for people to easily favourite and share  your information/blog posts with others.
  • Familiarise yourself with the etiquette of each social media channel – remember the two-way nature of social media, give value first and don’t over promote your products/services, look to build up relationships, provide value.
  • Mix up your information – make it timely, interesting, thought provoking, share useful links to further information/other websites/blogs.
  • Use different media – eg, text, photos, images, webinars, podcasts, videos.
  • BE human! Use a conversational writing style.

9 Encourage social media engagement

Establish some social media guidelines based on your business objectives and values and encourage your team, staff, different departments to engage in social media on your business’s behalf.

10 Integrate your on and off line marketing activities

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but will take you a long way down the road of implementing a successful web marketing and social media strategy. All the new methods of marketing on line and social media can be confusing, but can no longer be ignored irrespective of what business you’re in. The good news is it isn’t rocket science and, done correctly, can be an extremely cost-effective way of promoting your business – albeit always remember your time is also money!