I just love the light and colours of a crisp Autumn Day!
Autumn also makes me think of letting go of the old and allowing for the new to come in.
Which immediately reminds me of forgiveness especially in relationships, which I’ve seen a good few people struggling with recently … I shared a version of the following on my Instagram page and wanted to share it in a nudge too.
Accepting life as it is …
I recall a phrase on forgiveness (I believe it originated from Oprah) that “forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different than it actually was”. That took me a while to get, but now it totally resonates. So often it’s our own thoughts and resistance to something that keep us stuck and experiencing stress, when in the letting go we leave room for fresh thought and thus better feeling perspectives to come in.
… and not making it worse than it is
Of course, there’s the incident, or what has or hasn’t been said in a relationship, or whatever it is that’s occurred, and then there’s all the layers of thinking we can have about it. All those ifs, buts, shoulds and whys that have a habit of taking us over. All completely understandable, especially the closer the bond. And yet this invariably ends up as a conversation we have only with ourselves, attaching all kinds of meaning(s), which often only serve to make it worse than it is.
State of mind and seeing people with fresh eyes
What I have also found is how our own state of mind plays out in how we relate to each other in relationships. Sometimes, in a lower mood, it can prove so much harder to get past whatever we’re feeling, and yet once our mood lifts, things often look different. The more our own mind settles down, the more room there is for clarity and better thinking to flow.
And seeing this can be so valuable in helping to see a person or relationship with fresh eyes. Just because someone does something we might not like in one moment – possibly because of the head space they (or we … ) were in at the time – does not mean they (or we … ) will feel the same in another moment when we’re both in different head spaces.
Do you want to be right or happy?
Finally, a question I often ask in my work is “do you want to be right or happy?” and you’d be surprised how often that shifts things along …!
If you’re going through any kind of relationship or communication struggles right now, I hope this nudge helps move things on for the better.