Navigating stressful times
There’s a lot going on in the world at the minute isn’t there? So I I wanted to send a nudge about navigating stressful times.
When over 15 people I’ve never met sign up for my ‘How to Reduce Stress’ .pdf guide on Facebook within 3 days, that alone tells me people are struggling at the moment.
Anyone who has been reading my ‘nudges’ for a good while now knows that I’ve moved away from sharing strategies, techniques or ‘how to checklists’, and rather spend my time pointing people towards two things:
1 their own wellbeing and innate wisdom, which I’ve come to see resides in all of us, and is always working away for us regardless of our situation, and
2 we’re only ever living in the feeling of our thinking, not our outside circumstances, and because all thought is fluid and transient – and fresh thought is always coming in – it makes less sense to get too caught up in it.
So how does that help in stressful times I hear you shout …!?
And that was definitely me when I first came across this new understanding of the way our mind works, which I’m not going to go into detail about now. Instead, I want to share what I have found definitely does not work.
To keep stirring the pot
So often the first thing we do when we don’t like something that’s happened, or feel scared or threatened, is go into overdrive trying to figure out what to do in an effort to give ourselves a sense of control, certainty or security. And the more stirred up our thinking gets, the more stressful we can start to feel.
I’m reminded of that film ‘Bridge of Spies’ with Tom Hanks and Mark Rylance set in the Cold War. Mark Rylance plays a spy who has defected to the US, and Tom Hanks plays the lawyer who is defending him in a US court.The time comes where they are walking towards the border for Tom Hanks to hand back the spy to the Russian authorities in return for them releasing a US one. They have become good friends and, as they’re walking, Tom Hanks’ character asks “aren’t you worried about what’s going to happen to you?” To which Mark Rylance replies “would it help?”
That highlights so well to me how there is the situation or factual issue at hand, and then there are all the layers of thinking we can so innocently place on top. And before we know it, we experience all that thinking that causes us to feel stressed, and can feel so very real when it’s happening, but only serves to muddy up our minds right at the point a clear mind would be more beneficial.
Future predicting or past ruminating
Meditation and mindfulness are the big buzz words these days to help us stay in the present, rather than ‘future predicting’, or ‘past ruminating’ as I call it. I’m all for what works for us as individuals, but personally, I’m not great at forcing my mind not to think things.
The whole premise of meditation and mindfulness is to help quieten the mind, and that’s where I see the value in it.
Because when we have less on our mind, we leave room for fresh thought and insights to come in … space to listen for those quieter nudges – or common sense wisdom as I call it to do its job. And that can be so much less stressful than getting caught up in our busy, noisy thinking, which so often only takes us off down the rabbit hole and keeps us stuck.
Inner resourcefulness
The other thing that I find has changed so much for me is seeing that we all have an inner resourcefulness that comes into its own in real time.
Just think of an occasion when you imagined something happening, and believed you would never be able to handle it, and yet you did. Or a time when you had everything planned out just so and yet life had other ideas, and things turned out for the better.
THAT’s what I’m referring to with our innate wisdom. Our ability to rise to the occasion in real time in ways we cannot possibly imagine in advance!
These three things have led to me and my clients navigating stressful times with much more grace and ease, and my hope is you’ll see something for yourself in them too.
Have a lovely weekend.
All the best for now
Tamsin
PS If you are experiencing stressful times at the minute, or have a tendency to overthink, here are a couple of things you might find helpful when you’re ready.
1 My free ‘Living in the Flow‘ email series, a good introduction to this understanding I share about the nature of thought to help you experience greater peace of mind.
2 The Miraculous Book Club – a new, on line, virtual group I’ve been running based on an e.book I’ve written sharing insights into this understanding. You’ll find all the details at a private page when you click on the link and enter the password BOAT. We’re just finishing up this month, but I’ll be announcing the next one soon, so just drop me a line if you’d like more info.