My nudge today was going to be about putting things off, and then I remembered I’d written something on this before so went back through some old nudges. Coincidentally, I wrote the following in June 2012, and three years on, I think it’s more important than ever to have this conversation with ourselves.
A nudge about putting things off
So, we’re nearly half way through another year…how’s that make you feel? Good, you’ve done so much you wanted to? Or a sinking feeling because the year has run away again, and you’ve not done an eighth of what you set out to at the start?
Well do you want the good news or the good news …? There’s no point worrying about the time that’s passed, you’d only be wasting more time, and you’ve got the next 6 months to achieve more of what you want.
Start with not working so hard …
I think this one applies to all of us more and more in this age of 24 hour, non-stop, real time communication, and the resulting expectation that we should somehow respond immediately to others’ agendas. This was brought home to me big time when I read an article written by a palliative care nurse listing the 5 things that people tend to say they regret the most at the end of their lives*.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
The two that resonated with me were:
1 The wish by many people – and in the case of the article, men in particular – who had said “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard”, but had rather spent more time with their children growing up and in their relationship with their other half. To clarify, women also felt this, but many of the men were from an older generation so tended to be the main breadwinners.
Much of my nudging is about helping people to manage the overlaps better between their work and personal lives, and I think this nurse’s findings reflect well what is so often the case now, despite whether both parties are working or not.
2 And the second, which is so powerful was “I wish that I had let myself be happier”. Many had not realised that happiness is a choice, and had stayed stuck in old patterns and beliefs, fearing change, often pretending they were content when in fact they longed for more laughter in their lives.
So my nudge for today is …
1 Take some time this coming weekend to think about some ways you can commit to making one or two small changes so you can spend more time with your partner, children, good friends or other important people in your life.
It might be deciding to block out some non-negotiable time, much as you would an important work meeting; planning to stop work an hour earlier, or doing something you’ve been wanting to, but have been putting off in favour of work.
And remember, there’s no mention on the list of people regretting that they hadn’t spent longer hours working!!
2 Think about something you are far from content with, and imagine the exact opposite is now happening, and you are feeling happier than you have in a long time. What is that one thing? And what can you choose to do now to help bring it about – and possibly create more laughter for yourself into the bargain?
*You can read the full article here: